Seasons of Change
by Lucy Mars
Summary: What she wanted, she could never have. What he longed to give, he would never say. The story of true love, tainted love and broken love told in four seasons. ChloeLex. LexLana. ChloeBruce.
1. Metropolis Spring 2015

Title: Seasons of Change

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG

Summary: What she wanted, she could never have. What he longed to give, he would never say. The story of true love, tainted love and broken love told in four seasons.

Pairings: Chloe/Lex, Lex/Lana, Chloe/Bruce

Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, I would not be so ruthless.

Metropolis - Spring 2015

His knock is customary but unnecessary because he has never been unwelcome in her home.

So it is with great shock that instead of finding the mistress of this common dwelling, but magnificently magical manor, eagerly waiting for him with a glass of wine and a witty debrief of her day - he finds her weaving through a maze of open boxes, and tearing down this place he feels most at home with her bare hands.

Her eyes watch him as he gazes around the room in obvious shock. He had come to expect the unexpected from her over the years but this, this was too much.

Fighting to school the apprehension he can feel filling him with ruthless abandon, he finally finds his voice to demand an answer to the countless unasked questions he's built up over the years. "What's going on?"

"I'm leaving."

The words tasted bitter in her mouth. They were laced with false excitement, glaring lies and whimpering with regret. But he believed them and all that they falsely represented because what else did he have to believe? Their entire existence together had been built around unspoken truths, invisible feelings and impossible desires.

Why would their end be any different?

She couldn't stay any longer. She did not want to live in this world of incredible joy and smothering sadness anymore. She could only live so long living with the lingering hope that one day, one fine day he would look up at her and finally say what had always gone unsaid. The love was there - they practically glowed with love for each other - but the trust was always in short supply.

He could not trust himself not to hurt her. He could not trust himself to protect her from everything that threatened to destroy him. It was a lingering fear from the days when safety had always been a rarity and danger had constantly been looming in the shadows of his life.

She could not trust herself to be enough so that he would not disappear into the world of possibilities that beckoned for him everyday. She could not trust herself to be enough so that one day he would not look up into her face and wonder why it was he was wasting his time with her.

They were both so broken that neither knew how to be content with the moment. The only thing either of them knew how to do was to fear the coming dawn and all the troubles it would undoubtedly bring. Their lives had taught them both that nothing good ever stayed untainted. Everything they loved always left them or stayed in their hands, shattered beyond repair.

She couldn't bear the thought of watching him walk out of her life one day, never to return because she had nothing to offer him. He couldn't bear the thought of looking into her eyes one day and seeing hate reflected in the eyes that were torn and tattered by his tainted touch.

They were quite the pair really. Their love for one another cackled between them, as did the hate that simmered beneath the heat of their devotion.

He admired her yes but he hated her as well. He hated that she was all that he could never be. The shameful vessel of hate he carried was not in reaction to her because of all that she had, but because of all that he did not. He hated himself for being so broken - so dark and tainted, that surely she would flee the moment she saw how much of a monster he was. He could not bear the thought of her looking at him with disgust, once she finally delved her fingers into his assortment of sins and became as dark and twisted as he was.

To him, she was a fearless figure as pure as the summer sky. She was made of everything he longed to be. She was gentle in her actions but always firm in her resolve. She knew who she was and what she wanted. Never would she be molded into what others thought she should be. Her spirit would never allow it. The sheer force of her will would crush anyone who dared tell her that she was not allowed to be herself - that who she was was not enough.

Little did he know that she told herself that everyday - that she constantly thought herself unworthy of him.

What he didn't know was that she was built from the finest glass. She stood tall, yes, but always strikingly alone. She spoke loud and firm, but always with the knowledge that she would never truly be heard. She had it all, and yet, she had nothing at all. What she had were dark corners of misery of her own creation, shadows of doubt that tainted her moments of happiness and expressions of failures to keep her company.

She ached for him to love her in the way that she would eternally love him but it was a useless type of longing because after all these years, she had learnt the hard way that love was a fickle emotion that never came in perfect denominations.

She hated him for being all that she could never have. She hated him for only enjoying the finest goods the world had to offer.

She hated herself for longing so desperately to be better so that he could one day look at her and love her the way she loved him.

It was not that he did not love her. His love for her was tried and true but it was not the love that she needed for him to express. She could feel his own brand of love in the mocking smiles, tender embraces and moments of unbiased clarity. But it wasn't enough. It never would be. She could not live in this world of in-between, where she was eternally left to hesitantly hope for the words she could hear him whisper in her mind to finally materialize under a cloudless sky.

They had both taken all the ingredients for a timeless love and let it all fall to waste, all because neither could trust in their love.

She could not let herself be forgotten any longer because in his resolve to never hurt her, he had destroyed her.

He had run away from the light that she brought to his life and immersed himself in the light of another; a light that didn't shine nearly as bright and didn't expose all his flaws for the world to see. He had found a dimmer, yet softer, light to lie beneath because it was easier to love a bit and lose, than love with all he had and risk losing his world in one fell swoop.

She could not watch him fall in love with another that she believed suited him so well. She could not possibly make herself stand by his side with gentle encouragement and comforting words as he found the love he could never feel for her, rising without abandon or limit for a woman that loved him in return, so fiercely and true.

She could not watch as she once again lost everything she held dear to the smiling face of Lana Lang.

As her words finally registered, his face shone with betrayal and fear because he believed all the lies she told with her whispered sentence.

They were two words that would set them both free.

Looking up at her with an expression of surprise, he believed her shinning eyes to be an expression of excitement and not heart wrenching sadness.

Her hand begged to smooth the errant lines of his face away but her resolve held firm. She was shattered and broken inside but he need never know. There were so many things that he would never know. He would live happily ever after with the woman who had laid claim to his beating heart without the knowledge of how terribly she ached for him. Their love, it was a strange love. They built each other up just to crumble all over again.

It was a mystery why she loved him so dearly, when it had been so obvious from the very beginning of their days together that he could never feel the same way.

In many ways, she had shattered herself with each notion of false hope that she fostered over the years. He had not broken her heart. She had crushed it herself with every heaving and longing sigh she released in his name.

It scared her, the intensity and frequency with which she thought about him.

It scared her even more to know that no matter what she did, what she said or how she changed - he would never love her the way that she needed for him too.

How broken was she, that he could look at her and love her but never want her?

"What are you saying?" Lex asked, unconsciously moving forward and closing the space that had always stood between them.

Smiling lightly through the tears she refused to cry in his company, Chloe tried to move away because the only solution left in this muddled game of half feelings that they played was running away. Running was the only option left if she was to keep her shattered remains from becoming common knowledge.

"Why so surprised?" Chloe asked flippantly as she moved around plucking books off shelves and pictures off mantels and settling them in the boxes she had scattered everywhere. "You always knew that I had this nasty habit of doing silly things when bored."

Effectively killing all possible exits, Lex grabbed her hand to still her nervous and frantic movements. "Bored? Since when have you been bored?"

The words that she had so diligently crafted in the darkness of her room days before fell forgotten into an abyss of muddled sensations as the fingers she had watched him use to caress another, wrapped so tenderly around her shaking hand. Her breath caught painfully in her throat as he waited and searched her eyes for all the answers that he already knew.

Boredom was not what was ailing her. It was watching all her hopes for the life they would never lead together crumble before her eyes as he laughed and loved a woman who she could not hate, or even dislike. She could only watch with burning regret for everything that she could never be and hate herself for being so fiercely incomplete.

She couldn't stay here and grow to hate herself even more than she already did.

"What's really going on?" he begged to know, his fingers lacing with her own. They were the very same fingers she had watched him use to pull a face that was not her own to his for a kiss so gentle and pure that it broke a piece of her every time she thought about it.

Pulling away, Chloe looked down at her own hands because she could not meet his eyes with her own. "Nothing is going on. Just the job of a lifetime. The biggest media outlet in London wants me, Lex. _They want me_." she unconsciously stressed, "This is a great opportunity for me."

He should have understood everything she left unsaid because of all the things that Lex Luthor was dumb was not one of them. However, choosing to be blind was an entirely different matter. "Why do you have to leave?"

Because, she wanted to scream, because I can't stay here and watch you live happily ever after with someone that isn't me. Because, she could hear herself cry, because I can't stay and pretend to be happy for you.

"Because," she whispered so softly he could barely hear her, "Because I can't stay."

"You can't just leave your entire life behind for some job! All of your friends and family are here. You're life is here." he stressed, grabbing her chin and making her look into his frantic eyes. "What can moving to the other side of the world possibly give you that you can't find here?

Freedom, her heart whispered.

Distance, her mind promised.

"A fresh start," her lips revealed as her eyes drank in his unabashed surprise.

"A fresh start?" he echoed, stepping back as if she had struck him.

Not trusting her voice, all she could do was nod and wait. Wait for what, she was unsure but the part of her that would eternally hope for her own fairytale ending waited for him to realize all that could have been and all that they could still have. A small part of her begged for him to fold her into his arms and never let go. And yet, another part of her - the smaller part that was tired of the tears and the constant fear of being forgotten - just wanted to let go.

Each moment that he let slip by was a reminder of all the nights she wasted wondering when it would be he would finally see all that they could have together. Each step that he took away from her was a reminder of how far apart they really were. She didn't need an ocean between them to remind her of how far apart they were. She could feel the distance between them and he was standing in the same room.

"Why do you need a fresh start?" he suddenly demanded, shattering the silence that had descended upon them.

Startled, she didn't know how to respond.

Her silence only fueling the anger he could feel beginning to build in the coldness that seized his chest, he stepped forward to reclaim the space that he had put between them. "Why?" he demanded.

"Because," she replied both fearful and resigned, "Everyone has found a home of their own. Everyone we know has left behind the sublets of our youth and moved onto something more solid, something more complete." Lowering her eyes, she didn't want him to see the tears or the regret. She didn't want him to see the shame she felt at loving a man who would never love her. Sighing, Chloe whispered so softly Lex was sure he had misheard her. "Everyone but me,"

Watching the sun sink from the sky and paint Metropolis a thousand shades of crimson, Lex didn't know how to keep his world from sinking into the horizon.

"And you can't do that here?" he asked, almost afraid of her answer. Reaching out now and wrapping his hands around Chloe's sunken shoulders, he didn't understand how she could leave him. "You can't find all of that here?"

"No," she hears herself say as images of their countless days together flood her mind. She wants more than mistaken assumptions by complete strangers that they're two lovers in love. "Even you've built an entirely new life of your own. I need to do that. I need to find all of that for myself."

His stare is an incredulous as his proclamation of surprise. "You're punishing me for falling in love?"

The unspoken question slays her already broken heart. No, this isn't about punishing him for falling in love with a woman that wasn't her. This is about not punishing herself anymore by watching him build a life with the love of his life and sitting silently as he forgets all about her.

Her eyes wide and hard, Chloe doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at his exclamation. "No," she laughs darkly pushing him away, "No," she repeats as she wraps her arms around herself, looking for comfort that he either cannot or will not give.

Frustration, at himself, laces his voice as he stands in the despair that he's created for himself. "Why do you have to leave?"

She has no answers for him. Not any that he'd want to hear or she'd want to express. What has been left unsaid for so many years are not going to be brought up now. Not when all she'd receive for her troubles would be a pitying look of rejection.

"We'll stay in touch," she lies. The words are stale as they fall flat and echo with insincerity.

His eyes tell her that he knows that they will not but he does not object. Actually, he does nothing but stand in the silence that they've immersed themselves in. They began their time together on an unspoken attraction and built their friendship on a foundation of silent love and glistening lies. It was only fitting that they ended it the same way.

"Yeah," he finally sighs, weary and tired from the years of unspoken longing and suppressed desires. "Yeah, we'll keep in touch."

She drinks him in, desperate to memorize ever last detail about him that she's already burned into her mind because she knows, she can feel it to the tip of her toes, that this may very well be the last time they will ever stand in the same room again. This is the end of their life together, never as one, but always longing for a unity that they've never been able to achieve.

"I'll miss you," he finally utters, the closest he has ever come to admitting what has always laid beneath the surface.

She wants to tell him that she knows. She wants to be able to shout the words that will reassure him that she knows it all - all that they have always left unsaid - but no matter how much she wants to reassure him, she cannot.

Because she does not know. She has never known what it is that he feels behind the closed doors that they never speak about. All she knows is what she has longed for and what she can never have.

She has nothing to give him that he would want, so all she can give him is the truth. "I'll miss you too."

Spring is the first fragile steps of life through the thick morning mist of the unknown. The days to come begin here where life finds its foundation in the deaths of yesteryear.

TBC.


	2. London Summer 2015

Thank you for all the kind reviews. I was hesitant about posting this fic because it had been so long since I've written anything - but I am glad that people are enjoying it. Well, as much as you can enjoy angst anyway.

* * *

Title: Seasons of Change

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG

Summary: Watch as spring turns to summer and the bulbs we planted in the dawn begin to bloom in the intensity of high noon.

Pairings: Chloe/Lex, Lex/Lana, Chloe/Bruce

Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, I would not be so ruthless.

* * *

2. London - Summer 2015

Away from him now, alone in the isolation that she's inflicted and granted herself, she dreams in black and white. The images are blurred with shadows of grey regret as she recalls all the moments they shared and all the ones that she's longed for. Awakening in a dark bedroom across the sea, the name she whispers like a prayer fills her with shame and regret.

Restless and various degrees of desolate, Chloe stared vacantly out her window at the dreary London weather and watched as rain fell lazily and grey skies painted the city a miserable hue. Burrowing deeper into her covers to find the warmth she left behind in Kansas, she is left alone with her thoughts as night moves around her.

Her eyes drifting to the simple black phone that lay innocently on her nightstand, she knows that she shouldn't but her fingers stretch across the small space to find the cool metal waiting patiently for her. Weeks of being strong were about to come to a roaring end as her broken heart directed shaking hands to press the first number on her speed dial.

Just a quick hello, her heart whispered to her roaring brain. Just a Happy Birthday and then sleep will finally come.

Sweaty palms cradled the phone to her ear as she waited with baited breath to hear his voice - deep and smooth - say her name like a prayer.

But it is not his voice that answers and it is not his voice that speaks her name.

"Hello?" a laughing voice greets, as the noise of an undoubtedly raging party threatens to swallow them both whole, "Chloe?"

Closing her eyes against the torrent of grief she can feel ripping its way through her, Chloe fought against the tears that were already falling.

"Chloe, are you there?"

"Hi Lana," she breaths, twisting her fingers around the innocent comforter that never did her any harm.

"Hey! How's London?" Lana practically yelled, the clamber of the party making it impossible to have any sort of conversation.

"Good," she lied, hating herself for ever picking up her phone. "How's Metropolis?"

Giggling at whatever it was a teasing male voice called out to her, it takes Lana a few moments to reply to her question. "It's good. Actually, it's great."

Forcing her voice not to waver, Chloe pushed herself out of bed and threw her windows open - mindless of the pouring rain. "You sound busy. I can call back later."

Not calling Chloe up on her blatant lie, Lana merely laughs again. Neither women have spoken since Chloe stepped away from Lex and Lana's stunning figures at the impromptu going away party that Lana threw for her - and both women know that Chloe has not spoken to Lex since. Chloe knows because of the heart wrenching pain that greets her every morning and Lana knows because she has had to live with the silent and sullen man since.

"Sorry, it's just so crazy here right now. I can't seem to find a quiet corner, no matter where I look."

"Sounds like one hell of a birthday party," Chloe offers lamely, wishing she could just let her phone drop out her window and let the conversation be washed away by the rain.

"Birthday party?" Lana's questioning voice is clear over the buzzing phone line.

The moments pause is enough for Chloe to realize what it was the male voice called out to Lana earlier. Congratulations, Mrs. Luthor-to-be.

"You haven't heard!" Lana laughed, her excitement touching Chloe from an oceans distance away. "Lex proposed. Tonight is the engagement party."

Chloe is not sure how she manages it but she hears herself wish Lana congratulations. It may not be heartfelt but it is all she can manage as she sat heavily on her windowsill and wished for the rain to wash her away.

* * *

"Hiding from your own engagement party?"

He doesn't need to raise his head to know who it was that had found him. "Bruce," he nodded in greeting as discreetly closed the book he was looking through.

"Why aren't you celebrating on a day marked for celebration?" the dark brooding man questioned, almost predatory in his movements.

Narrowing his eyes at the dark gaze settled upon him, Lex left the unasked questions laced into the seemingly innocent inquiry unanswered. Bruce Wayne was a man of many faces and many minds - and Lex knew better than to let the somber man know anything more than he needed to know. In all honestly, Lex wasn't entirely sure why Bruce was here to begin with. True, Lana had sent him an invitation but the man was notoriously hard to get to attend any functions that did not directly impact his businesses – and he and Lex were anything but friends.

Rising from his chair, Lex tucked his book neatly at his side. "Was there something you were looking for?"

"I'm not snooping, if that's what you're accusing me of." Bruce smiled, the shadows of the room hiding the smirk he was sporting. Holding his phone out as an offering of peace, the billionaire shrugged his shoulders. "I just needed a quiet place to make a phone call."

Distrust written across his face, Lex didn't have a chance to reply. A burst of music and laughter flowed into the room as Lana threw the door open and exclaimed with exasperation, "There you are!"

Stepping back and watching the petite brunette glide into the room, Bruce watched from the silence of his shadows as Lex expertly schooled his expression into one they both knew his fiancée expected him to sport - a look of gentle adoration.

"Just savoring a moment of peace with Bruce," Lex explained, gesturing to the other man in the room.

"Mr. Wayne," Lana sputtered, obviously surprised to find Lex in the same room with a man she knew he disliked immensely, "I didn't see you there."

"Understandable, since you obviously only have eyes for your fiancé." Bruce offered smoothly, rewarded for his troubles by the blush creeping across Lana's face and the scowl Lex was suddenly wearing.

"Is that my phone?" Lex questioned, reaching out for the tiny device Lana was clutching.

"Oh," she said suddenly flustered, "Yes. Yes it is. You dropped it earlier."

His scowl become more pronounced, Lex took the device back and flipped it open. "I didn't even notice. Did I miss any calls?"

"No," Lana replied, with perhaps too much haste as she watched him tuck it into his inner pocket. Grabbing Lex's hand and pulling back towards the noise and bustle of the party, Lana informed him seriously, "We need to get back to the party. People are wondering where you've disappeared off to."

"Of course," Lex replied, his fingers closing around his book just a fraction tighter. "Join us, Bruce?"

"In a minute," Bruce promised, watching the couple with intent interest in his eyes. "Just need to make a quick call to Gotham to make sure you haven't taken over any of my companies in the last hour."

"Don't you boys ever stop working?" Lana sighed, tugging insistently at Lex's hand now.

"Never," both Bruce and Lex replied.

Still smiling, Bruce nodded his head at Lex as Lana pulled him out of the room. Just before the two crossed the threshold, Bruce called out to Lex.

Wary, Lex turned slowly to find other man watching him with a curious look.

"Happy Birthday, Lex."

At a momentary loss for what to say, Lex merely nodded his thanks before following Lana out the door.

Standing silently in the shadows that bathed him with its soothing embrace, Bruce slowly crossed the room to where Lex had been sitting just mere minutes ago. Looking down at the worn leather of the chair, Bruce reached down and picked up the stray item he had been eyeing the moment Lex had unknowingly let it slip from the pages of his book. Carefully picking up the bright and vibrant picture that stood out against the gloom of the room, Bruce found himself looking at a Lex he had never seen before. Studying the faces that smiled up at him, Bruce felt his lips twist into a semblance of a smile as he realized the potential power he held in his hands.

Knowledge was power, and this foreign Lex and the woman in the photo with him, was undoubtedly power.

Lex Luthor, on the night of his engagement party was gazing at a photo of another woman?

Interesting.

* * *

Pushing past the endless sea of people that seemed intent on making an already bad morning indefinitely worse, Chloe cursed every deity she could think of for making life completely unbearable during the chaos of rush hour.

Balancing her coffee in one hand and her juggling her overflowing bag in the other, Chloe could not have dogged out of the oncoming collision if she tried.

The softness of her curves meeting hard sharp planes of a man's chest, Chloe let a string of curses fall from her lips as the warmth of her coffee painted her blouse a muddy hue of caramel. Looking up at the hand that had caught her arm before she fell to the ground, she followed the arm up to a face that watched her with expressed innocence and obvious remorse.

"I'm so sorry," the man offered righting her and ushering them both out of the flow of traffic that was rushing by.

More focused, now that conclusion that her day could not possibly get any worse, Chloe realized that the hand that had grabbed her earlier was still holding her. Finding the offender's face once again, it dawned on Chloe as he smiled sheepishly at her that this could either be the biggest break of her life or the biggest cosmic joke ever played.

How many times over the years had she jokingly declared to Lex that closely behind him, Bruce Wayne was the next person she most wanted desperately to interview? As true as her many declarations had been, she had done it mainly to annoy Lex. She had loved the way he had frowned intently at her and assured her that there were countless others more deserving of her attention. It was almost jealously that Lex expressed every time Chloe brought up the other billionaire's name.

The dislike Lex held for the dark man currently holding her arm like he intended to never let go was something that Chloe knew well – and something that had always intrigued her.

"Are you all right?" Bruce inquired as he pulled out a handkerchief with his free hand and held it out to her.

Regardless of the fact that her day was completely and utterly ruined, Chloe couldn't help but perk up a bit at the note of genuine concern he voiced for her. So far away from family and friends, she had been starved for sincere affection.

Taking the offered piece of cloth more out of politeness than actual desire to try and clean the mess of her shirt, Chloe quipped easily, "Ruined blouse aside, I think I'll live."

Smiling, Bruce glanced down at the ugly stain that was painted across her once crisp white blouse and forced his eyes not to linger too long. "I think it gives it character."

Her laughter is like benediction and Bruce knows that seeking this woman out had not been a mistake. Whatever her worth, whatever it was that she meant to Luthor, Bruce was beginning to believe he might just enjoy her company.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners?" Taking a formal step back from where he had practically pushed Chloe against the wall of a building, Bruce held out his hand regally. "Bruce Wayne."

Hesitating for a moment, Chloe pushed her doubts aside and clasped his hand with her own. "Chloe Sullivan."

Summer brings merry blossoms and reckless abandon, as the sweltering heat of the sun makes us drunk with the belief that no wrongs can be committed under such wholesome skies. Blind to the folly of our actions, the season of light and warmth finds us making so many regrettable mistakes.

TBC.

Any and all comments are appreciated for they feed the ego - which in turn feed the muse.


	3. Metropolis Fall 2017

Thank you for the kind reviews. I am glad that people are enjoying reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

This particular segment (and season) is my personal favorite. Hopefully you will like it as well.

* * *

Title: Seasons of Change

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG

Summary: The fallen leaves of autumn remind us all of the choices we made in the seasons past. Decisions that were once stellar and pure are now tainted by our infinite regrets.

Pairings: Chloe/Lex, Lex/Lana, Chloe/Bruce

Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, I would not be so ruthless.

* * *

3. Metropolis - Fall 2017

Their reunion is accidental, and yet, it is not. You cannot share so many years of your life with another and not expect to find him hovering around the circle of friends that defined so much of who you are.

Amidst a flurry of flowers, curtains of white lace and mindless chatter, they find each again other as strangers within a cocoon of memories.

She is different from how he remembers her, and yet, she is exactly the same. Standing beneath a halo of shimmering light, glowing with the same mysterious smile that drew him to her all those years ago, she is everything he recalls her to be.

However, the face that is smiling in return to the laughter that was once meant only for him distorts his image of her.

A smile that once belonged exclusively to him was now meant for another.

It occurred to him that the woman that stood before him now distorted all the memories he had of the girl that he had met all those years ago in a small cow town in the middle of Nowhere, USA and the woman he had found once more in the chaos of Metropolis.

She was still as breathtaking as ever, the various appreciative stares she was receiving from the richest men of Metropolis and the glares of their respective female companions proof enough, but she was also different. There was a time when she shone in brilliant hues of blues, vibrant shades of crimson and throbbed an array of jaded greens.

The Chloe he remembered lived and breathed color. However, the Chloe that stood before him now didn't draw you in with her color or energy. The woman that hovered within reach commanded attention with her smoky eyes and stark ebony dress. The silk of her gown only served to highlight the alabaster glow of her skin as it moved with the same liquid grace that woman who wore it possessed. Her gown hung off and hugged every curve that he remembered memorizing with silent appreciation, as her hair rained soft sunlit kisses around the room.

In the few seconds that he lost all the poise he'd acquired in the span of a lifetime of training, Lex came to the realization that the two years that had passed since he'd last seen her were nothing in comparison to the milliseconds that stretched on for eternity as he waited for her to turn her face a fraction of an inch and meet his gaze with her own.

Whatever acknowledgment Lex had been waiting for from Chloe was pushed aside as reality resurfaced and his fiancée smoothly came to his aide and picked up the conversation he had let end abruptly when he'd caught site of Chloe. More specifically, when he had caught site of Chloe sweep across the room with a flute of champagne in her hand and one smiling Bruce Wayne holding her other hand protectively with his own. Uncurling his fists at the wave of possessiveness that washed over him when he caught sight of the hand that had held Chloe's move to wrap itself around her svelte waist and pull her close, Lex focused his attention on his charming fiancée and the obviously smitten Senator that couldn't stop beaming at her.

His eyes speak of the betrayal he feels but his lips make no movement to voice the flurry of emotion that is drowning him. He cannot find the words to express the confusion that he is immersed in. He wants to hold her, he wants to laugh with her, he wants her – but yet, he cannot have her.

He never had her.

"Lex?"

Bringing his attention back to the woman that holds his arm with such grace and care, Lex pushes down the pang of guilt he can feel touching the corner of his lips.

"More champagne?" he asks, deftly plucking a flute from the waiters dancing silently around them.

Taking the delicate piece of crystal from Lex, Lana knows what it is that has caused her usually unflappable fiancé to lose his control but she says nothing. She had mastered saying nothing over the years and she knew her delicate silence was something that Lex loved about her. But as silent as she was, that did not mean she did not see what others saw. It did not mean that she did not understand that which had always gone unsaid.

Lana knew that Chloe Sullivan was something that had always gone unsaid and was someone who she desperately did not want to see.

* * *

Standing nervously where Bruce had left her as he rushed off to answer an important call, Chloe smoothed a shaking hand against the side of her dress. She waited with equal parts hesitation and impatience for the reunion that had been two years in the making to finally come to fruition.

She had caught site of Lex earlier and it had made her falter in her steps. He had been exactly as she remembered him, all the good and bad sliding to the surface. It had been hard to see Lana standing so perfectly beside him but it was harder waiting for him to acknowledge her presence.

Even Chloe wasn't sure what it was she expected from Lex when they finally spoke after all this time. Since the day she had agreed to accompany Bruce to this wedding, knowing full well that both Lex and Lana would be in attendance, she had been running countless scenarios through her mind. Of all the scenes she had envisioned, she had never thought that Lex would merely appear behind her and greet her as if she were still a daily part of his life.

"Chloe,"

Spinning around to find the eyes of Kansas blue skies caressing her with the same warmth she ached for in the dead cold of Gotham nights, Chloe felt breathless with joy and apprehension. Hands flying reflectively to her chest, Chloe could not help the breathless exclamation that fell from her lips. "Lex,"

Drinking her in like a man dying of thirst, Lex reached out and touched her with infinite care. His fingers lacing through the silk of her hair, the noise of the reception was not loud enough to drown out the gasp of surprise that escaped her cherry lips. Pulling away slowly, he could not help the detour his fingers took as they brushed past the scarlet that stained her cheeks.

"Confetti," Lex offered as way of explanation as Chloe watched him with eyes so suddenly dark with emotion that he thought he would happily drown in them.

Lowering her eyes for a moment, Chloe quickly brought them back to his and smiled softly. "Thank you."

Watching her as if he was afraid she would disappear at the slightest intrusion, Lex pushed aside the torrent of emotions churning through him and wordlessly held his hand out in question.

Granting his request without hesitation, Chloe found herself drifting across the ballroom as if in a dream. His grasp warm and solid, Chloe felt everything around them fall away as Lex deftly spun her close and pulled her into an embrace that felt like the sweetest absolution.

Eyes of forest green swayed slowly with a gaze of azure ray blue, as two became one under a haunting melody of promises.

His touch gentle and light, Chloe sank readily into his embrace as Lex traced solemn vows over the skin her gown bared. Securely wrapped in arms that felt nothing like the arms that had promised to love her forever, Chloe longed for all the courage she did not have to tell Lex what it was her heart loved more than life itself.

Marking her with his caress, Lex found peace with each inch of skin he explored and every ounce of warmth Chloe filled him with.

There were so many things that they both wanted to say but time had never been a friend to either of them.

Before Lex could find the courage to tell her of the degree to which he had missed her over the years or let her know about the countless moments he had found himself dialing her phone number, Bruce was striding towards them with a friendly, if not knowing, smile on his face.

Feeling Lex step away, Chloe was left bereft until she realized that the other couples had separated as well and were politely applauding the band. Confused by the suddenly indifferent expression on his face, Chloe followed his gaze until she found what it was that had caused the air around them to shift so dramatically.

"Lex, it's good to see you." Bruce grinned with over enthusiasm, "Where is your lovely fiancée? I haven't had a chance to say hello to her."

The brightness of Chloe's eyes dimming significantly, Lex fought against the wave of contempt that filled him as he watched Bruce wrap an arm around Chloe and hold her close. "Lana is with the bride. The two are discussing something I could not bear to stay and listen to."

Laughing, Bruce nodded in understanding. "You must be sick of hearing about weddings, with your own still in the planning stage. Have you and Lana set a date yet?"

Forcing himself to resist against the urge to pull Chloe away from everything around them, Lex never had a chance to respond.

Emerging out of a crowd laughing women, Lana slid her hand easily around Lex's arm. It was an action that spoke of comfort and familiarity, as well as subtle reminder of possession. Her diamond engagement ring shinning brilliantly under the muted light of the ballroom, Lana was as flawless as Chloe remembered. "Sometime in the spring, we think. It's nice to see you again, Mr. Wayne. Hello Chloe."

Lost beneath the chatter that filled them, Chloe didn't believe it herself but she found herself longing for the loneliness of Gotham over the company of Metropolis. The misery of trying to forget was easier to bear than the reminder of how easily she was forgotten.

Lifting her eyes to find Lex watching her as their respective others filled the silence the two of them left hanging in the air, Chloe didn't know if it was her own anguish she saw reflected in his eyes or if it was his own brand of despair gazing down at her.

Autumn ushers in contemplation of all the days gone past, as the leaves turn from a soft emerald of comfort to an alarming crimson regret.

TBC.

Just one more part left. All comments are welcome and cherished.


	4. Gotham Winter 2017

Thank you for each and every review. It is very touching to know that people are enjoying this piece.

Here is the last season. Enjoy the chill of winter.

* * *

Title: Seasons of Change

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG

Summary: Life stands still beneath the cold touch of death that winter ushers into our lives, as all our sins are laid to bare.

Pairings: Chloe/Lex, Lex/Lana, Chloe/Bruce

Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, I would not be so ruthless.

Gotham - Winter 2017

Her eyes cast out on the dying light of the frigid day, she did not need to turn around to know that he stood behind her. His presence had always made her heart race. In the beginning of their time together, it had been out of sheer excitement. Later, it was because of the intensity with which she loved him. As of late, even after all these years her heart had continued to race every time he was near - but now it was a result of her abject fear.

She did not need to meet his eyes in their reflection in the window to know that he was regarding her with that contemplative look he had been wearing since the night she had caught site of him dancing with Chloe all those months ago. There were so many things that she did not have to do to know what it was that went on within the silent confines of this man's heart.

"It would be useless of me to ask you if you really loved her."

His sigh soft and almost regretful, Lex merely stood silently as he watched Lana drink in the last slivers of light on the horizon.

Turning, Lana regarded Lex with eyes he had been once foolish enough to believe could fill the gaping void he harbored the moment Chloe had walked out of his life.

"I think I've always known, in some form or another, that you loved her more than she ever realized, you truly understood or I wanted to admit. But redundant or not," Lana whispered as she reached out and touched the smooth line of his jaw that had always mesmerized her, "I need to know Lex. Do you really love her?"

His answer lacks any hesitation because he does not have the strength to lie to her now that he was finally able to overcome the fault of lying to himself. "Yes, I do."

Closing her eyes against the silent assault his words wage against her, Lana did not move her hand from the face she held. She knew what his silent declaration meant. Lana knew what was to come now that he was finally able to answer the question that she had always purposely left unasked. "What if she doesn't feel the same way anymore? What if it's too late?"

Now it is his turn to close his eyes against the questions she raised and the possible answers he would soon find. Pulling away from a touch that did not bring him the golden warmth he longed for, Lex stepped back from the crystal tears that Lana cried for the broken promises that he gave her. "You can have it all," Lex spoke, gesturing to the grandeur that they were immersed in and life he had begun to build with her, "but I won't be coming back."

Raising her eyes to watch him as he prepared to leave her behind, Lana stood tall against the rubble that was her life. "I'll be here, Lex. When you come home, I'll still be here."

He does not say it to hurt her. He says it to set them both free of the lies they've lived with all these years. "This isn't home, Lana. This has never been home for me."

Home was where he could meet the hand of dusk with Chloe by his side. He would be home anywhere, as long as he could greet the first light of dawn with her heart nestled firmly against his.

* * *

She was a good reporter, they both knew that. She was smart; he knew that from that start.

He also knew that she harbored doubts about him and his intentions from day one. She wasn't at the top of her field for no reason. Her gut had screamed at her from the very first smile he had sent her way and it had continued to clench over the years. They had lasted this long because as smart as she was, she could not escape the trap of lying to herself.

What he knew about her from the first time she had laughed in the middle of the crowded streets of London, that she had yet to fully understand about herself, was that she needed desperately to believe every overdone show of sincerity that he endured for her and every false promise of love he would eventually make.

Because he was the only one to ever hold her first in his sights. He was the only man who had ever refused to let her go.

But as cunning a man as he was, she was not broken enough to run in circles forever.

"You're using me," she spoke, her tone haunting and clear.

For the rest of his life, he would remember the picture she painted as she stood before a blazing fire and exposed all the sins that he had committed - some in the name of love but most in the name of war.

All the wrongs that he had perpetrated were being laid out to bear because there was always a price to pay.

Turning her haunted eyes onto his shamed ones, she stood taller than her small frame would ever provide her. Everything she lacked in reality, she made up for with her presence. Everything about this woman was presence and her presence had always intimidated him.

In the beginning, he had been overwhelmed by her. From the moment he had orchestrated their collision, he had felt the force of her spirit barrel into him, through him and over him. She had been nothing he had ever experienced before and it was refreshing as it was frightening. With every practiced move he employed in an attempt to win her over, she had a witty and cutting rebuff. His determination to win her over easily became an undeniable infatuation because there was nothing that Bruce Wayne could not have – and no matter what the cost, Chloe Sullivan would be had.

He just never anticipated that having her would cost him his heart.

Despite the fact that she had entered his life on his devious terms deemed as an investment that he would one day use against one Lex Luthor, somewhere and somehow, as time had passed them by it all became a frighteningly intense love. But no matter the degree to which he found himself loving her, it was still a twisted love that found its foundation on lies and deceit.

"You've been using me," she whispered with somber disbelief. Even after reading through all the files he had on her, the files he had on Lex and the single file that comprised of the picture of her and Lex he had found all those years ago - Chloe still could not believe the truth that this love she had taken in order to forget another was not love at all.

Turning away from him, the shadows played over her as she moved across the room. "All this time...all this time Bruce, I thought that you loved me. But all those gentle hints that I could trust you, those subtle looks of understanding when I purged my heart and soul to you - they weren't so innocent were they? You knew what you were doing when you came up to me in London. You knew what you were doing when you made all those grand overtures and told me over and over that you would have me no matter what. You knew what you were doing when you manipulated my doubts into longing and finally into love."

Fingers grasping a picture on the mantel and examining it under the dim light, they both knew that in her hands she held memories of a better time when laughter had not turned to accusations and smiles had yet to become scorn.

"I should have seen what you were doing. I should have realized that you wanted me for a reason and not for myself."

Her eyes finding his in the dark room, he saw for himself how completely he had destroyed any chance of a life with Chloe. He found in her eyes, the darkness he had planted within her with his lies and his deceit.

There had been a time, a single moment in the past, when he had been afraid of this very moment. He had felt the pangs of worry when he had held her in his arms one nameless night and found the hushed murmur of love he vowed to be nothing but the unadulterated truth.

The fear of being discovered had been brushed aside when he had felt the gentle pressure of her lips assuring him of her own devotion and love. In the eerie silence of the coldest Gotham night, Bruce had felt his fear drift away into the pocket of denial he granted himself as he immersed himself in a decadent sea that was distinctly Chloe.

The fear of discovery had drowned with him as he sunk into her arms.

Now, what he feared was not what she knew or what he had lost.

What he feared was what he had made her with his lies.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he lied, willing the shame that he could feel staining his face back down into the deep corners of his heart that he would rather never examine too closely.

The laughter that fell from her lips was cold and hollow. It chilled him to the bone because he knew he had put the darkness there. There had once been a time when Chloe's laughter had been light and bright, always full of sunshine and rainbows.

Turning now and watching him with eyes as cold and dead as the broken heart she nursed, Chloe let the photo she was holding slip from her grasp. The sound of glass shattering against stone echoed so loudly that Bruce could not help the flinch that tore through him.

"You did it all for what, Bruce? Were all these years just a chance for you to prove once and for all that you could have and hold something that Lex Luthor wanted out of his reach?"

His silence screams louder than any words he could ever shout and she hates him for it. She hates him for standing as silent as stone and not fighting the wrongs she laid at his feet to claim.

She hates him for breaking her when she was already so broken.

"All these years have been a waste, Bruce. Whatever caused you to be delusional enough to believe that you could use me as some pawn in a game against Lex were just that: delusions. I mean nothing to him. I cannot be used as some bargaining chip in whatever business deal you deem me expendable enough for," Chloe hissed, stepping over broken glass. Advancing on him now, she stood before him and made him feel as small and horrid as he deserved. "All those premeditated whispered declarations of love in the middle of the night, every kiss meant to make me putty in your hands, each calculated fuck intended to quiet the doubts that I had about you and I - they were for nothing, Bruce. They were all a waste of your time."

Deflated now, Chloe did not have the strength to fight against the tears that stained her skin. All the warmth she had found with Bruce, all the happiness that she had been foolish enough to believe to be eternal and pure, was washed away with every bitter tear she shed. Looking up into the somber eyes she had mistakenly placed all her hopes in, Chloe did not know this man she had shared her heart, body and life with. "I am valueless, Bruce Wayne."

"I have never thought of you that way." Even to his ears, he sounded weak and broken.

"Haven't there been enough lies?" she roared, letting him glimpse for a moment the broken girl she harbored inside; the broken girl that both he and Lex had loved, and eventually destroyed.

Instead of moving back at her scream of indignation, Bruce grabbed shoulders and pressed a desperate kiss to her lips. "I love you," he promised, broken with regret. "I love you,"

Immobile in his embrace, Chloe met his desperate eyes with her own. Watching Bruce with silent consideration, Chloe shook her head as she pulled off the ring that had weighted heavily against her finger since the night two weeks ago when he had slipped it on her. Examining the simple, yet undeniably beautiful ring, Chloe spoke so softly that he had to strain to hear her. "I don't know who I hate more. You for making me believe that you loved me or me for believing that you ever loved me.

"Please," Bruce begged, "Believe me. Believe that I love you."

"No you don't, Bruce. You love the pawn I could have been. You never loved me. It was all a lie."

Stepping back now, stumbling as if she had struck him with the most deadly of weapons, Bruce knew now what he had not known before.

Yes, knowledge was power - and the woman in the photo with Lex that he himself had become entranced with was undoubtedly power over the Luthor heir.

But she herself was more than a pawn in the game.

She herself was the most powerful of all.

All because of the love she gave and the men who loved her in return.

* * *

The broken man that sits before him is not the man he had expected to find. The thick chill of Gotham's unrelenting winter still coating his skin, Lex does not know who it is he sees sitting before him but the shattered air settled around the man watching him with eyes as dark as purgatory itself cannot be Bruce Wayne.

"You finally came," Bruce spoke, breaking the silence that is suffocating them both and leaving the sentence unfinished. It was fitting, Bruce thought, that of all the days Lex Luthor could have chosen to come and tell Chloe all that he needed for her to know, he had traveled to Gotham on the day that she finally found the strength to leave.

"Where is she?"

Tearing his eyes away from where Lex stood judging him with his gaze, Bruce silently studied the ring he held in his hands and the broken dreams that lay scattered around him.

Moving deeper into the dark room, Lex demanded forcefully, "Where is she, Bruce?"

Closing his fingers around the ring that was meant to deliver him from all his lies and into a life of happiness he had never expected and truthfully did not deserve, Bruce didn't have any answers for Lex. "I don't know."

Eyes of blue regret clashing against a black stare of defeat, Lex felt fear clench him at the destitution he found he shared with this man he had come to steal the sun from. "What do you mean?"

"She left," Bruce whispered as he closed his eyes against the truth that swirled around him. A biting chill had filled him the moment she had walked out the door with the intention of never returning - a devastating cold that filled the void he was left with. "She left."

Confused, afraid and aching for answers, Lex did not move from where he stood watching the infamously stoic Bruce Wayne drown in his grief. "Why?"

Sighing, Bruce rose from his seat and met Lex's burning look with his own. "Because neither of us loved her enough for her to stay,"

* * *

They had never acknowledged all that was left unsaid and she was tried of everything that had ever gone unsaid.

All these years and all those days wasted as she lied to herself and silently allowed others to lie to her – she would have no more of it.

She didn't want anything from him anymore.

She wasn't waiting for him to come to the earth shattering realization - as he stood alone in the space that could have been theirs - that he could not live without her.

He would not find her waiting with baited breath, content to let life move by without her as she held onto the hope that he would one day sweep her off her feet.

While the longing would always be there, that she was sure of, and the love always in her heart, she would not let time slide through her fingers for a man that did not want her.

She would not live illusions any longer.

Chloe Sullivan would finally do what she did not have the strength to do all those years ago.

She was going to leave it all behind.

Winter finds the faults of yesterday replacing the hopes and dreams that the seasons long past planted in us all. Hope is extinguished by the waning light as night descends upon us all and the moon watches us from the sky. While we all die on the night of winter solstice, not all of us are reborn come the first dawn of spring.

THE END.

For all the readers mildly disappointed that there wasn't a happy ending, find some measure of assurance in the fact that I am toying with a second version of the ending - or even an epilogue of sorts. I left it purposely vague...so you never know.


End file.
